Well, I haven't done anything with my Deviant art in so long I wonder why I even made the thing. I knew I wouldn't have time for it. We my high school life nearing it's end and the nightmare of colleg draws near I sit here and wonder.

"Am I really going to do this.. Am I really going to try?"

I've always hated school, I've always been to damn smart for my own good. I could easily get 80 - 90% in my classes. But I settle for a nice low 70%

Years I look back and wonder, what made me change so much. In grade three I loved school, I loved being surrounded by friends. My marks were damn near a hundred, I never missed a day.

But then.. I was forced to move, I was moved to the west side. I lost contact with all my friends. I was transfered to a new school, instantly everyone hated me. Not for the fact that I was the new kid, it was the fact thta I was the SMART new kid.

I easily surpassed the smart girl of the class and sent her ship to the bottom of the sea. Which didn't earn me much fun on the play ground. For the longest time I was nothing but a punching bag. a weakling that everyone enjoyed picking on.

I would often come home with bruises all over my body, my mom asked me what happened and I never told her. I knew that no matter what she did it would only get worse.

Middle school rolled around, It was like a freash start, many people I knew had gone to a different school.

The thought of freedom didn't last long before all hell broke loose. Soon I was attacked again, locked in my locked and beaten up. It wasnt till grade eight that something in me snapped.

In the whole year of grade eight I set a new record in how many days a kid could miss and how low a grade could be.

I went only 30 or so days out of the year, my highest mark was math with 5%

The teacher's didn't know what to do with me. They thought I was retard, they made me sit down and do several test and they all pointed to the fact I was smart.

Soon they had nothing to say and had to let me go, sending me to an outreach sschool. But before the year ended I took a turn for the worst. One student that had followed me from grade 4 started to pick on me again, torment me he few days I was there.

Only, I returned his torment five fold. I don't know how it happened but I know I enjoyed it. I enjoyed making him suffer like he had done to me. He lived, but no one ever pissed me off.

After that by blonde hair turned dirty blonde, with natural black streaks, my eyes lost their joy and kindness and I became angry. I don't smile unless your really my friend.

I enjoy making people laugh, I enjoy knowing I can make people happy. I don't enjoy when people try to take advantage of me. I'm a grown woman, I'm turning 18 in may.

I'm going to finish highschool, but what the world should fear is the fact that I'm deadly.

There is no line I wont cross, I will push you off the edge if you get in my way.

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I watch you from a far, I want to hold you in my arms.

Your smile melts my heart, How I long to feel your warmth.

All I want, to hear is you love me.

But who would love, a freak like me?

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"I am a question to the world, Not an answer to the earth"